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第46期:芒果有时说再见

Mango Says Goodbye Sometimes

I like to tell stories. I tell them inside my head. I tell them after the mailman says, Here's your mail. Here's your mail he said.

I make a story for my life, for each step my brown shoe takes. I say, "And so she trudged up the wooden stairs, her sad brown shoes taking her to the house she never liked."

I like to tell stories. I am going to tell you a story about a girl who didn't want to belong.

We didn't always live on Mango Street. Before that we lived on Loomis on the third floor, and before that we lived on Keeler. Before Keeler it was Paulina, but what I remember most is Mango Street, sad red house, the house I belong but do not belong to.

I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much. I write it down and Mango says goodbye sometimes. She does not hold me with both arms. She sets me free.

One day I will pack my bags of books and paper. One day I will say goodbye to Mango. I am too strong for her to keep me here forever. One day I will go away.

Friends and neighbors will say, What happened to that Esperanza? Where did she go with all those books and paper? Why did she march so far away?

They will not know I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out.

芒果有时说再见

我喜欢讲故事。我在心里讲述。在邮递员说过这是你的邮件之后。这是你的邮件。他说。然后我开始讲述。

我编了一个故事,为我的生活,为我棕色鞋子走过的每一步。我说,“她步履沉重地登上木楼梯,她悲哀的棕色鞋子带着她走进了她从来不喜欢的房子。”

我喜欢讲故事。我将向你们讲述一个不想归属的女孩的故事。

我们先前不住芒果街。先前我们住鲁米斯的三楼,再先前我们住吉勒。吉勒前面是波琳娜。可我记得最清楚的是芒果街,悲哀的红色小屋。我住在那里却不属于那里的房子。

我把它写在纸上,然后心里的幽灵就不那么疼了。我把它写下来,芒果有时说再见。她不再用双臂抱住我。她放开了我。

有一天我会把一袋袋的书和纸打进包里。有一天我会对芒果说再见。我强大得她没法永远留住我。有一天我会离开。

朋友和邻居们会说,埃斯佩朗莎怎么了?她带着这么多书和纸去哪里?为什么她要走得那么远?

他们不会知道,我离开是为了回来。为了那些我留在身后的人。为了那些无法出去的人。

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